why is this happening?

these past few days I'm not proud of what I've been doing. last-minute assignment, unaccomplished missionsss, n byk lg la keje yg asik ttangguh je. x tahu npe :(

adekah sudah ilang mood utk bljr? or I already lost my "taring" utk perform sehabis baik? rsnye dulu when I first register as a masters student, I promised myself to redeem back of what I have lost before. nk bsungguh2 wat lab, thesis.. mule2 dlu ok, tp skrg rs cm hampeh je.. apo kono eh jang?

I think I have everything that I want, and even things that I don't want that much. I just have to read, write and learn. ape yg susah aku pn x tahu *sigh* siyesly rs mcm mls gilersssss nk blaja. rs cm x saba nk carik keje... tp bile keje dugaan die lain pulak. x bleh nk hu ha mcm zaman blaja. cuti pun x byk mcm skrg. at least skang kalo rs mls g lab pndai2 la create excuses yg logik2. heh.

adekah sy manusia yg x bersykur? ya Allah, mntk2 simpang la dr bnde yg x baik itu. n lately rs smyg pun x kusyuk, asik terpikir mcm2 mase smyg. smpi asik pening pale je.. :(

YA ALLAH, AKU HARAP KERJA INI ADALAH KERJA YG AKU MMPU BUAT, SUKA BUAT, DAN ENGKAU BERKATI. AMIN.

conversation with a friend

one of my friend asked me yesterday...

"izzit ok kalau i berhenti smbg bljr kt sni and continue back at one of the nearest uni around my hometown?"

ok, at first agak tkejut dia ckp mcm tu, sbb nmpk dia ok je before ni..

tp tu la kn, mslh org kdg2 kte x tahu, luar nmpk ok, tp dalaman, maybe she's fighting with her unstable emotion. and then i asked her why she wanna do that?

it seem like ad sedikit mslh di skul that caused her to lose interest to continue her study here.

mmg, bg certain org bnde ni akan nmpk remeh, n mebi diorg akan ckp yg kte ni x realistik or tlalu ikutkn perasaan.. sbb ape yg jd, mest akan ad pros and cons dia. tp.... kalau mslh tu mybbkn kite mmg xd ati lgsg nk buat keje or perform at our very best, jln yg dipilih tu maybe terbaik.

and judging by the way that I see her everyday, maybe the decision is for the best. kalau aku pn, blum tntu aku bleh idup sorang mcm tu lama2..she's a strong person.

tp kan, one of my friend said that I could live alone with strangers, sbb kunun2 aku ni friendly and cpt mesra orgnya. cewah! hehehe..

by the way, apepun decision yg die amik, I wish her the very best!

don't explain yourself to your friends, cos they don't need it, and your enemy won't believe it.

do what you think is best for you :)

risonye sayeeee

oh tidak! dekat2 nk cuti ni keje makin bertmbah! rsnye dh dekat seratus kali kot arini aku mengomel sendirian or mengomel kt rakan2 lain pasal keje byk nih.

tu la, time xd keje dlu, lepak2 sgt.. padan la kot ngan muka aku.

tapi..... (yg keje2 last minet tu bkn sy yg decide tarikh die) ok, x bleh nk salahkn org lain! xd tapi2! whatever the reason is, aku yg ptt btnggungjawab. i dont wanna put others to blame.

luahan hati seorang pelajar

kdg2, ok, bukan kdg2, but more often than always, sll sgt rs nk give up my masters degree, and proceed dgn carik keje. *sigh* it's not that I don't have a good supervisor, he is more than good enough, believe me you. Tp environment sekeliling yg pd pndangan aku, do not offer much favor to me. Did i choose the wrong path? mungkin sy x layak kot nk smbung2 blaja nih..

And I think yes....I do! :(

But it is too late to change the course of my life. What we do today, is the choice made by us.

The only solution possible is to change my response (mood utk teruskn study) to the event (my current research) to get the expected outcome (me graduated with flying colors!)

Thanks to Jack Canfield, the author of 25 Principles of Success. At least I still have hope.

Hope... itu yg paling penting buat aku skrg.

of all people. why me?

Sometimes I wonder, why this thing happened to me? Why of all people, I am the one that God chose to accept this kind of trouble (or punishment I might say) or whatever things that I wish I do not want it to happen! But then, after a while when everything is going back to normal again, I said to myself, "ohh, patut la Allah buat mcm ni hari tu, rupe2nye bnde ni menyenangkan aku di masa skrg."

And I couldn't stop smiling thinking betapa adilnya Allah Yang Satu itu. Sometimes things happen for a reason. It might not be good for us now and perhaps later, something even BETTER awaits us. Smileeee...

I am in the mode utk menenangkan hati yg gundah gulana sbb td bila kol jbtn bndahari, encik tutttt sedang bercuti selama seminggu. Hmm, dh agak dh.. Si dia mmg mcm tu, asal gaji masuk, time tu dia cuti sbb konpem x larat nk angkat fon n jmpe student face to face. Tp kan, dh mmg salah encik tuttt ok.. Borang sy dh bg, xkn ilang lg kotttt...

Td dh kol bndahari,dn borang tu mmg ad kt stu.. so, whose fault is that? For someone who has been working on the same thing for quite some time, this kind of thing should never happen! They should have have one systematic way to make sure everything is organized. Dh terbukti dh, and I know I'm not the one to blame, as I already done my duty by giving him the form longggg time ago.

Takpela, ad hikmah kot semua ni, even td my beloved viva ad mslh bateri. Dh agak dh, tp x sngke time xd duit ni dia nk jd...hmmm..