late night wondering, thinking of....

I never thought that, at age like this, as for me, I am 24 years old already, still rs mcm ad mslh identiti.. mcm mase zaman hingusan dulu! hehehe.. rs x secure la, low self esteem la.. n mcm 2 lg la.. n i guess it doesnt matter whether you are 12, 20 or 30 years old, this kind of feeling ttp akan dirasai kalo kite x yakin dgn diri sndiri!

let's face the facts that they will definitely someone yg lebih cantik, lebih comel, lebih pandai, lebih kaya, n ape2 yg lebih la dr kita. and most of the time, we are too busy deciding who's prettier, richer or other -er rather than be grateful of what we have now.

kalau nak compare tahap kesenangan, kesempurnaan paras rupa, kebahagiaan keluarga, adalah lebih baik kita bandingkan diri kita dgn org yg lebih susah hidupnya dr kita, yg kehilangan sebelah tangan atau yg buta sebelah mata, yg keluarganya ad mslh peribadi.. sbb dr situ kita akan rs bsyukur sgt2 that we have a perfect body, not more, not less, a perfect family, and we still can eat at leat 2 times per day, compared to those who do not eat at all!

dan kalo nk compare our ability academically, kita tgok org yg lebih pndai dr kita, mcm mane die usaha smpi dpt result yg excellent cmtu.. so that we could make ourselves move another step ahead. ;)

pesanan utk diri aku sndiri, bsyukur dgn apa yg Allah dh kurniakn kt aku, sbb Dia xkn menguji hambaNya dgn sesuatu yg kita x mmpu nk hadapi...
smileee... sbb sekurang2nya aku ad anggota badan yg smpurna, and I have one perfect family. what more could I ask for?
love yourself for who you really are. be confident. be bold. be excellent! :)

p/s:utk org yg suke sgt kondem org lain, kau ingt kau tu sempurna sgt ke? ehem!

why is this happening?

these past few days I'm not proud of what I've been doing. last-minute assignment, unaccomplished missionsss, n byk lg la keje yg asik ttangguh je. x tahu npe :(

adekah sudah ilang mood utk bljr? or I already lost my "taring" utk perform sehabis baik? rsnye dulu when I first register as a masters student, I promised myself to redeem back of what I have lost before. nk bsungguh2 wat lab, thesis.. mule2 dlu ok, tp skrg rs cm hampeh je.. apo kono eh jang?

I think I have everything that I want, and even things that I don't want that much. I just have to read, write and learn. ape yg susah aku pn x tahu *sigh* siyesly rs mcm mls gilersssss nk blaja. rs cm x saba nk carik keje... tp bile keje dugaan die lain pulak. x bleh nk hu ha mcm zaman blaja. cuti pun x byk mcm skrg. at least skang kalo rs mls g lab pndai2 la create excuses yg logik2. heh.

adekah sy manusia yg x bersykur? ya Allah, mntk2 simpang la dr bnde yg x baik itu. n lately rs smyg pun x kusyuk, asik terpikir mcm2 mase smyg. smpi asik pening pale je.. :(

YA ALLAH, AKU HARAP KERJA INI ADALAH KERJA YG AKU MMPU BUAT, SUKA BUAT, DAN ENGKAU BERKATI. AMIN.

conversation with a friend

one of my friend asked me yesterday...

"izzit ok kalau i berhenti smbg bljr kt sni and continue back at one of the nearest uni around my hometown?"

ok, at first agak tkejut dia ckp mcm tu, sbb nmpk dia ok je before ni..

tp tu la kn, mslh org kdg2 kte x tahu, luar nmpk ok, tp dalaman, maybe she's fighting with her unstable emotion. and then i asked her why she wanna do that?

it seem like ad sedikit mslh di skul that caused her to lose interest to continue her study here.

mmg, bg certain org bnde ni akan nmpk remeh, n mebi diorg akan ckp yg kte ni x realistik or tlalu ikutkn perasaan.. sbb ape yg jd, mest akan ad pros and cons dia. tp.... kalau mslh tu mybbkn kite mmg xd ati lgsg nk buat keje or perform at our very best, jln yg dipilih tu maybe terbaik.

and judging by the way that I see her everyday, maybe the decision is for the best. kalau aku pn, blum tntu aku bleh idup sorang mcm tu lama2..she's a strong person.

tp kan, one of my friend said that I could live alone with strangers, sbb kunun2 aku ni friendly and cpt mesra orgnya. cewah! hehehe..

by the way, apepun decision yg die amik, I wish her the very best!

don't explain yourself to your friends, cos they don't need it, and your enemy won't believe it.

do what you think is best for you :)

risonye sayeeee

oh tidak! dekat2 nk cuti ni keje makin bertmbah! rsnye dh dekat seratus kali kot arini aku mengomel sendirian or mengomel kt rakan2 lain pasal keje byk nih.

tu la, time xd keje dlu, lepak2 sgt.. padan la kot ngan muka aku.

tapi..... (yg keje2 last minet tu bkn sy yg decide tarikh die) ok, x bleh nk salahkn org lain! xd tapi2! whatever the reason is, aku yg ptt btnggungjawab. i dont wanna put others to blame.