Friday, July 30, 2010

of all people. why me?

Sometimes I wonder, why this thing happened to me? Why of all people, I am the one that God chose to accept this kind of trouble (or punishment I might say) or whatever things that I wish I do not want it to happen! But then, after a while when everything is going back to normal again, I said to myself, "ohh, patut la Allah buat mcm ni hari tu, rupe2nye bnde ni menyenangkan aku di masa skrg."

And I couldn't stop smiling thinking betapa adilnya Allah Yang Satu itu. Sometimes things happen for a reason. It might not be good for us now and perhaps later, something even BETTER awaits us. Smileeee...

I am in the mode utk menenangkan hati yg gundah gulana sbb td bila kol jbtn bndahari, encik tutttt sedang bercuti selama seminggu. Hmm, dh agak dh.. Si dia mmg mcm tu, asal gaji masuk, time tu dia cuti sbb konpem x larat nk angkat fon n jmpe student face to face. Tp kan, dh mmg salah encik tuttt ok.. Borang sy dh bg, xkn ilang lg kotttt...

Td dh kol bndahari,dn borang tu mmg ad kt stu.. so, whose fault is that? For someone who has been working on the same thing for quite some time, this kind of thing should never happen! They should have have one systematic way to make sure everything is organized. Dh terbukti dh, and I know I'm not the one to blame, as I already done my duty by giving him the form longggg time ago.

Takpela, ad hikmah kot semua ni, even td my beloved viva ad mslh bateri. Dh agak dh, tp x sngke time xd duit ni dia nk jd...hmmm..

Thursday, July 29, 2010

sy yg tgh marah

I don't know why these past few days asyik rs nk mrh org je.. serba serbi buat sume x kne.. haish! I hate this kind of feeling, sbb nnt bile nk buat sume keje konpem x jdik or the result won't be as expected.

And just now, my SV told all of us to submit an abstract for conference paper, latest by tomorrow. What the fish?? I don't even know where to start.. (I am that kind of person who will get panic on the spot and everything will be blurrrred.. as blur as you can imagine! *sigh*)

And just now also, (haish, byknye just now aku), I found out that sume lab mate sudah mndapat elaun masing2.. uwaa. nape asik aku je yg kne?? npe aku x dpt2 lg? ;(( last month pun mcm tu jgk.. but that I can understand, sbb borang tu bndahari x terima. tp xkn ilang lagi kot borang tu wahai encik tutttt... sy x larat ok asik nk call encik je.. sy pun malu kot, mntk duit sndiri kt org lain.. eeeeeeeee, rs nk marah plus hangin satu badan plus rs nk korek lubang pastu duduk kt situ lama2.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

the back-up plan

I have to keep constantly reminding myself that no matter in what condition I am in, or I will be in, I have to and I must be independent! mesti ok! (ye, sy seorang bdk, ops silap, sy seorang perempuan yg sll sgt lupe bnde2 kecik mcm ni, pastu nnt sy duduk sorang2 kt corner bilik smbil mengenang nasib diri yg sll sgt rs semua org akan tlg sy). That is totally wrong!

No matter how we think we have someone or people that will always be around us all the time, difficulties will arise someday where at that moment, xd sape yg akan tlg kamu. melainkan kamu dan diri kamu sndiri. So, the back-up plan adlh sgt penting. bkn cm cite yg jLo blakon tu, tu backup plan lain.. *giggle*

Jgn harapkn duit org lain, or org2 spesel akan tlg bila time susah tu dtg. Human's human. Kdg2 mereka sndiri x phm ape yg kite rs time kte nk dlm kesusahan tu.. so, drpd kita rs sakit hati kt org lain, you better have your own emergency plan. sob3.. tbe2 trase ati pulak ari ni..

Monday, July 26, 2010

over the breakup songs

I barely remember when is the exact date of me being dumped by that ugly bastard! hehehe.. sori, got a bit harsh there. cewah, ekceli ingt je, I can remember it perfectly well, it was the first year of my uni life, on second semester. and thanks to that b***h, I didn't pass the final exam, and my loan was barred for one semester, and I have to pay the uni fees all by myself, not my money, my mum's actually. you are the most wonderful mother in the world, thanks a lot for your understanding and being there for me at that worst time of my life. history's history. but the scar will remain forever I must say, and now that you are happily married, congratulations! I am totally over you, way over. :)

well, that's not the story I wanna write here.. just nak share the songs that I used to hear when my heart was broken like s**t! wow, byknye curse words hari ni. sorry ya..all those songs did help me a lot through the healing process (yess, this is the worst moment in my life so far, so the healing process takes a lot more time than you can imagine). and of course, byk dekatkn diri pada Yang Esa itu sudah pasti. :)

I used to listen to all those songs bila tibe2 sdih x tntu pasal, bile rs mcm nk off-on hp byk kali smbil harap lps off hp tu akan ad msg or kol masuk, bile rs mcm nk gile sbb x tau ape kslhn sndiri smpi diperlakukan sebegitu rupa, bile rs self motivation super down and I can barely look at the mirror and tell myself that everything's gonna be ok, and bile rs nk melayan perasaan sndiri tnpa menitiskan air mata (and most of the times, I never failed to shed some tears). well, speak no more. the songs are:

1) Jet - look what you've done
2) Ashley Parker Angel - let you go
3) Natalie Umbruglia - torn
4) Nick Lachey - what's left of me
5) No Doubt - don't speak
6) Destiny's Child - emotion
7) Katherina McPhee - over it
8) BSB - I still

and the one and only song that's been my all time favorite was..............

"Eamon - don't want you back"

this song is totally cool. why did I say that? listen to it yourself and you'll know why... hihihi.. listen at your own risk ok. awal2 dh bg warning nih... hehehe..

well, I am extremely happy now. no sad feelings or whatsoever. it took me almost a year to fully recover and got myself right back up.

so, don't simply hurt someone's feeling, and if you don't love him/her anymore, just tell them the truth right in front of their faces. just don't walk away like nothing happen and leave them clueless. because the wound is deeper, much much deeper than you can ever imagine.

the truth sometimes hurt

yes, it is true... every things that you face everyday will give you difficulties occasionally. for example, bgaduh dgn kwn la, bf menipu la(ckp nk balik esok, tp dia balik lusa), tibe2 sakit ati la, n mcm2 lg. and it is up to our wisdomness and capability to solve such things wisely, without breaking anyone's feelings around us.

and my friend had once said that,"org laki ni kalo gado smpi luka sana sini, sok2 bile diorang ok, mmg ok sgt2, mcm xdak pa yg jd smlm, and org pmpuan kalo gaduh or trase ati esp part2 yg besaaarr pnye trase, sok2 bila dh ok, but that emotion, yg rs disakiti tu depa akan ingt smpi bila2." and of course, we will think of it once in a blue moon.

so, guys, bhati2 dlm bkwn, n kalau boleh, jgn smpi buat kwn tu trase ati yg smpi nk meletop jantung dia. i have had experiences dealing with this, though I'm not the one who like to started it all, but that 'feeling', still lingering somewhere inside of me. kalau bole, aku akan jg ati org tu sebaik2nya, because.... simple! i dont wanna be hurt either! and please please please, jgn trase x tntu pasal dgn status org kt facebook, ym or any social networking. because of that so-called status, x pasal2 kite akan gaduh dgn org.. haa, naseb la ko time tu, sume bnde aku luahkan, dr luar kain smpi dalam kain. and yg x bestnya, sume tu adlh btul.. *pastu rs nyesal lak, sian kt die* x baik nk bukak pekung org lain... hahahaha..

yess, I am the type of girl who will spit out everything without giving any second thought about the consequences, BUT ONLY when someone triggers the "tiger" inside of me! hehehe.. maksudnya, jgn carik pasal dgn aku la..

i do respect the way of others living themselves, and you have to do the same too.. after all, we are 1 Malaysia.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

back from unplanned hiatus

oh, dh lme sungguh x menaip di sini. i did visit my blog once in a while, and of course dlm kpla ni byk sgt bnde yg x sbr utk diterjemahkan dlm bntuk tulisan, but then, i dont know where the passion of writing has gone. *sigh* n now im back in writing mode. let's just pray that it will last longer than before, will you? ;)

yesterday me and my 6 friends had a blast watching Eclipse movie, the third installment of Twilight Saga. and two thumbs up to the director, the screenwriter and everyone involved in the making of it! it is not easy to translate a novel into one great movie you have to come up with the best screen play as possible, without neglecting the important scene and the movement of the story in the particular book. tp biase la kn, utk yg x suke tgok cte ni, mcm2 diorg ckp, tp tgok jgk. just for the sake nk mengutuk. well, ape kate ko sndiri yg buat 1 movie, n let me see it. nk tgok bagus sgt ke tidak! bluwek!! :p x salah kot nk bg pndangan, tp xyh la smpi nk mengutuk mcm die sorg yg perfect kn. ok, enough said!

and thanks to my friends yg tgok same2.. nnt next installment kte g lg ok.. ;)