tick tock the clock is ticking

I'm missing this blog already. Lots of stories to be told, but I'm not sure it'd be worthy enough to be written here. For example:

1) I'm penniless, up until this moment.
2) my life is turning upside down, in a biggg way!
3) I don't know if I can ever finish what I started before. Can I?

wake up call

sometimes, in this life, we need something powerful that will wake us up, so that we can stop dreaming about things.

yes, kenyataan itu mungkin pedih, tapi itu realiti. sebanyak mana kita menidakkan, selagi tu kita akan kerap kali disakiti.

so, wake up! bepijak di bumi yg nyata. redha dengan ketentuanNya.

afterall, tak semua benda yg kita nak sesuai untuk kita. Tuhan tau ape yg terbaik. Just wait and see.

So, sy nak berhenti berharap sejak 17/11/2011. All I want now is to be content with the life that I have right now, at this moment.

lost.

sometimes I wonder, does life being unfair to me or is it the other way around? Is it me? or is it me that is lack of planning, and thus, things didn't go as planned? or is it me who didn't know how to grab things at its best? and thus, I'm falling apart?

I don't know. All I know now is I feel lost. I feel something is missing. I feel distance. I feel hopeless, I feel nothing and something at the same time. I feel like I'm wasted my precious times. I feel like I'm the one who should be blamed.

Oh Allah, only You know what's best for me. Forgive me for all of my wrongdoings, forgive me..

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 soundtracks

The time is finally around the corner! Sangat tidak sabar utk tengok the next series of Twilight, The Breaking Dawn Part 1! It'll be released here in Malaysia on 24th November.. I thought of watching it more than once, boleh gitu?

Video klip utk lagu Bruno Mars, It Will Rain dah keluar which is the first soundtrack for this movie. Lagi satu lagu Christina Perri, A Thousand Years. Both of 'em are equally good I think.


That girl in this video? I bet lots of girls are super jealous of her!




Written by Christina herself, not to mention she's a huge fan of Twilight! I wish I could write, you know.. songs, stories, doesn't matter as long as I can produce something, I hope someday I would!


For all the Twilighters out there, you know who you are.. happy watching for this upcoming movie. It's reaching the ending, finally...

credit to google for the image.

kaki & kerusi

what is it with me & the chair? minggu ni je dah 3x kaki langgar kerusi.. and this one is the worst! kuku nk tercabut..! memang selalu macam ni.. dulu masa undergrad dah kene, sampai bengkok jari kaki. 4 hari lepas kene, hari ni kene lagi.. dang!

some people talking about making something memorable today, I guess I did mine already!

but hey, memang tarikh hari ni cantik, tapi tak perlu taksub sangat okay, it's just a number. Jangan sampai akidah kita tergugat.

blog revamp 2.0

how's my layout so far? rasa macam fresh pulak bila dah update layout nih. I've been thinking of changing it long time ago, tapi takde masa.. (buat2 busy). So, bila dah tukar layout, rasa semangat sikit nak upload story baru.

I'm home now! Extend cuti sempena raya Haji. Rasa macam lama sangat tak stay lama2 kat rumah, dengan harapan I'll get some sort of "semangat" bila kat kampus nanti. Up until one point, rasa give up sangat2. Tapi, mesti kuatkan semangat! Sekarang dah takde supervisor around untuk push and keep me on the time line.. Semua kene arrange & buat sendiri.

Harap2 dapat lah gaji bulan 12 nanti. I've been penniless sejak mid August hari tu. Seriously, memang sangat2 hopeless sekarang. Harap2 tuhan permudahkan segalanya. Kat rumah boleh tengok muka budak anak buah, hilang sekejap rasa risau, susah hati, stress dan segala macam perasaan negatif tu. Nak recharge balik the energy, and hopefully when the time comes, I'll be filled with lots and lots of semangat! Gambatte!

Kat umah ni kejenye asyik mendonlod cerita. Sekarang mode tengah carik balik cite2 lama yg menjadi kegemaran masa zaman remaja dulu. cewah! cite With Love, Ice World, The Cave of The Golden Rose. Buat stok tengok sampai muntah kat kampus nanti.

tengok ni masa umur 13 tahun, and all of my friends thought that Yutaka Takenouchi is the most hottest guy in the entire milky way! haha.. memang suka dia sangat2 lah! lagi2 time tu internet baru nak berkembang, memang sesuai dengan cerita nih kisah pasal email.

tengok ni sebab Yutaka berlakon, again!

this one memang satu fenomena yg dasat dulu. Tak silap masa sekolah rendah. Satu family memang akan tunggu2 cite ni kt tv2 dulu. Skang ada tayang balik kt tv9 kan, but never got the chance to watch it.

thanks to google for the images!

entry after midnight..

everytime I look at those pictures, my heart's aching. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I just can't help it..

That should be me.... Ironically, I keep on repeating the song by Justin Bieber, That Should Be Me... aha!

on the other hands, I think I'm getting good at doing things consistently, except for a few minor things that I should really work my butt off! Giddy up lazy ass!

and I'm superliking this statement at the moment, "do not wait for things to happen, you MAKE them happen!" and yes, I did make 'em happen! Abaikan saja mereka2 yg suka menunggu bagai bulan jatuh ke riba itu! I hope I'm not givin' up on anything, anything at all, yet..

p/s: rest in peace Marco Simoncelli.. he died during the race at Sepang GP circuit, at such a young age. That reminds me, ajal tak mengenal usia...

thing I would love to do

kadang2 kan, bila tengok people my age dah pegi travel merata tempat, it doesn't matter whether it's for holiday trip @ work trip, I do feel a tad jealous of 'em. I have this big, massive and huge dream to go travel one fine day. Dulu ingat nak belajar kat oversea, tapi tak kesampaian lah pulak kan, so I think for the holiday is good enough. Memang jeles tengok member2 rapat yg dah merasa pegi merata tempat, or at least they reside somewhere other than Malaysia. It's been my ultimate dream to go all around the world, you know.

So, positive thinking, maybe bukan rezeki sy lagi. I'm still stuck in USM, studying. But this is my choice, though. Bak kate dia, kalau sy dah kerja sekarang, maybe dah kahwin @ ade anak pun.. hee~ So, I just have to go through with this, right? tak lame dah pun...

Takpe lah kan, maybe rezeki utk travel tu akan tiba lepas kahwin? So that bleh travel bersama husband tersayang. Mungkin tuhan tu tahu kalau sy travel before kahwin, ade kemungkinan besar sy taknak balik2 sebab nak carik boipren matsaleh? hahahaha...
Salahkan kumpulan Westlife, lagi2 si Shane tu ye, sebab die lah dulu sy kunun2 tanak carik org Melayu jdik bf, last2 dapat jugak dengan org T'ganu, pure Malay lagi youu! harap2 berkekalan... aminnnn....

The bottom line is, God knows what's best for you. Be patient, the time of your life will come eventually. Dia Maha Adil.

p/s: It's been 4 years, syg, can you believe it? but I don't feel like 4 years, it seems like only 4 months since I've first met you. That's a good sign, right? I can't get enough of you, yet..

nak beli beg tak?

hi! just a quick post only.

anyone interested in buying the bag below?

i bought it last week for RM46 termasuk posting cost, but I'm gonna let it go for RM35 only, termasuk posting cost.

Reason for sell? ---> simply because I cannot find any outfit to match it with.. jadi sayang kalau tak pakai. It looks nice, though.

Width: 33CM
High: 25CM (handle below)
Handle High: 13CM


Email me: shanegirl04@yahoo.com

the colour is exactly the same as above, I can assure you.

p/s: credit to ireen.kieron for the picture.

Book

I don't think I'd be able to finish reading this book, The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. Apparently the author seems to know how to shed some tears off of me.. Starting from page 365, my eyes keeps on blurring by the tears. Sedih sangat baca part ayah-anak when the father tries really hard to tell his daughter and son about the terminal cancer.. Tiba2 teringat kat ayah sendiri.. and the tears finally streaming down my face when I was reading page 407.

" I want you to know that you're the best son a dad could hope to have. I've always been so proud of you and I know you're going to grow up and do wonderful things. I love you so much."

"Every time the light shines through the window we built, or any window at all, you'll know I'm right there with you....i'll be the light in the window...."

sob3....

I'm a very sensitive person, and my emotion can be easily touched, lagi2 bila part yang involve ayah&ibu nih, tak kisahlah pasal apa2 pun. The tears senang sangat2 nak keluar, malu pulak dekat roomate, bace buku pun boleh menitik2 air mata..



p/s: buku ni dah difilemkan , but I haven't watch it yet. Nak tunggu habis baca dulu, baru tengok. Dari haritu asik tangguh2 je nak habiskan baca. ish3..

thanks to google for the image.

it's all about consistency

no matter what you did, consistency is very crucial! without consistency, buat lah banyak mana sekali pun, takkan dapat result yg diharapkan!

I'm trying on a new hobby, more like an activity actually. And I think I'm trying really hard this time because I'm sick of starting over and over again! Penat kot asik buat benda yg sama, pastu stop tengah jalan, bila dah kene akibatnya kat diri sendiri, baru rasa menyesal dan terhegeh2 nak rebound. Oh, puh-liss Aishah. And it's more like maintaining this new activity for as far as I can, mind you. Pray for us..

It doesn't matter how excellent that method is, because the only successful method is the one that you worked on yourself! ;)

ok, good night!

helloo...

rindu rasa nak menaip kt blog ni.. banyak kali dah masuk dan tekan butang "create new post", but after a while, tak sampai satu baris menaip, dah takde mood @ tak tahu nak macam mana nak teruskan penulisan tu.. adakah itu tanda2 orang yg super malas?

There are too many things to write, about everything actually. But then, I don't have the courage to write them all up here. Instead, memujuk hati sendiri dengan menaip di handphone kesayangan.

I'm back in Penang! The raya fun's over already, and it's time to face the reality. It was true, though, about people saying that the closer you are to finish your study, the more obstacles will come! True enough!

As for me, the problems are:

1) ada lagi satu sampel je untuk finish grinding, then that one damn day, the machine stopped abruptly! bila kita dah selalu guna benda yg sama tiap2 hari, for sure you'll notice the difference, right? rupa2nya the timing belt putus! adding to my "excitement", pak ngah orang kuat lab cakap belt tu tak pernah putus since the machine first came here! what a nice timing, eh belt?

2) the pressure!
- of cos, siapa yg tanak habes cepat kan? but, when one party keeps on pushing you to finish a.s.a.p, lagi rasa tak boleh nak buat!

3) the income
-yes, the risk of being a student, is money. I'm not a scholarshio holder, cuma all my yuran are paid by the gomen, the Bajet Mini one. elaun bulanan guna geran. So, bila geran ada mslh, memang takkan dapat duit.

korang boleh argue, ala, setakat student, ape sangat la nak bayar? I've my own responsibility too, things utk dibayar bulan2:

- bil hp
-kereta
-bilik
- makan minum?
- ptptn

so, jangan ingat kami student mak ayah still tanggung. FYI, dah lama kot tak mintak duit dari mak ayah. susah senang memang pandai2 sendiri.

just recently kene pindah ke bilik baru yg a lot bigger, but then we have to pay 3 months deposit + sewa sebulan, lebih kurang 500++ kene bayar. boleh bayangkan tak mcm mana? elaun bulanan memang tak banyak.. luckily my roomate sudi guna duit dia dulu. and I'm very much thankful for that.

raya haritu dengan tak bergaji, memang super gloomy sebab dapat tolong umi ayah sikit je. baju raya lagi la, satu pun tak beli. just recycle yg tahun2 lepas punya.

kalau pikir2 balik, memang akan think twice @ a bit regret sebab I chose this way. But then, it's my choice, my responsibility!

The education may be bitter, but the fruits are sweet - as one of my fb friend said.

I may not reach for the fruit yet, but I must not give up!

uncertainties

he says that I've rarely update this blog lately. yep, it's true. even banyak story worth telling here, but I don't seem to find the vibe to write. Kecewa dgn keadaan sekeliling, dengan org yang tak henti2 beri janji palsu, dengan uncertainty yang tidak pasti bila boleh selesai, dengan banyak benda tertangguh.

But, one thing for sure, though... I will and I'm obligated to finish my study by the end of this year.